J’ai commis l’adultère mais cela m’a fait découvrir l’amour.

juillet 29th, 2009

Deuxieme Partie.
Ce soir là avec mon amie, cela s’est arrêté a des discutions sans fin, des rires aussi et des petites anecdotes comme ça qu’elle me racontait sur sa vie histoire de me distraire et de me faire rire. Elle me disait que j’étais un bel homme intelligent qui ne méritait pas cette vie et cela me réconfortait. Apres cette nuit passait avec elle, dès le lendemain elle a commencé à m’appeler a prendre de mes nouvelles, au boulot on se contacté et on ne cessait de papoter, de se raconter nos journées, nos vies. Il y avait entre nous, beaucoup d’échanges d’idées et lorsqu’on se comprenait pas sur un point de vues, on essayé de trouver une solution, de s’entendre.
Ce petit jeu virtuel a duré pendant des mois et des mois, les appelles téléphoniques, les mails etc tout les jours. Je voyais qu’elle me téléphonait plus que ma femme, qu’elle s’inquiétait plus pour moi que ma femme, qu’elle était plus présente dans ma vie que ma femme. Je ressentais comme un lien qui se tisser entre nous tout les jours un peu plus et cela devenait de plus en plus intense et profond entre nous. Ensuite nous avons commencé à nous donner des p’tits prénoms coquins comme chou, amour, doudou, poussin etc et là je sentais vraiment que cela devenait plus qu’une relation amicale mais extraconjugale ! Souvent il m’arrivait d’entrer à la maison et de voir ma meilleure amie là a la place de ma femme. Je me sentais diviser dans ma vie amoureuse et je voulais souvent appartenir à ces deux femmes en même temps. Je ne savais pas laquelle je devais choisir, je ne comprenais plus mes sentiments…
Je savais déjà que je courais le risque de me faire soupçonner par ma femme, cependant l’envie d’être avec l’autre, l’envie de sentir son parfum, son odeur, l’envie de l’entendre parler et l’envie de la voir a mon écoute m’envoutait. A un certains moments je voulais même plus que cela, mon coté male jouait contre moi et souvent je rêvais d’elle, je rêvais de ses cheveux rousses sur mon torse, des ses yeux marrons sur mon corps et de sa silhouette délicate devant moi. Est-ce le manque d’amour qui me rendait vulnérable à cette femme ? Est-ce que j’été tombé amoureux d’elle ? Tout cela me fessait peur, mais je n’avais pas peur de prendre le risque juste pour me procurer quelque chose d’inoubliable dans ma vie.
Un soir donc, je me suis rendue chez elle a sa grande surprise. Bouquet de roses a la main, pizza, boisson, chocolats… je l’avais pas prévenus de mon arriver et elle été hyper contente comme tout de me voir devant sa porte. Je n’ai pas eu besoin d’exprimer mes sentiments, cette femme me comprenait parfaitement bien et dans mon regard elle a compris que je voulais prendre le risque de l’aimer, de lui faire plaisir et de lui rendre heureuse. J’ai pris une douche chez elle et nous nous sommes installés devant un film romantique pour déguster nos tranches de pizza. Ensuite je ne sais pas comment cela s’est arrivé, mais je me suis rendu compte que j’avais la main qui enlaçait sa taille pendant le diner. Nous étions comme deux amoureux, qui n’avaient peur de rien.
Avec la conscience claire, je sais que je me suis allongeait sur elle sur le sofa a un moment ou a un autre et que j’ai commençais a l’embrassais langoureusement. Elle avait un corps glaciale, c’est sans doute la peur ou l’excitation qui lui fessait cet effet là. Mais cette femme apprécier vraiment mes baisers, elle participait même, elle n’avait pas peur de m’attraper, de me serrer contre ses seins, de me lécher, de m’embrasser sur la nuque. Je me suis sentie après des années désirer par une femme et je voulais lui prouver que j’étais capable de lui satisfaire… Avec des doigts délicats, je l’a fessais déguster du chocolat pendant les préliminaires, la pression, l’envie et l’excitation ont rapidement montés entre nous. Cette femme me caressais avec des doigts de fée, elle avait l’art pour me toucher, elle savait exactement ou ses touchés me procurer davantage de plaisir. Elle savait lire en moi, chaque geste, chaque moments l’apprenais quelque chose sur moi et elle l’utilisait par la suite.
Nous n’avons pas pu résister, le besoin de former qu’un et l’envie de nous satisfaire nous monter a la tête. Je sentais qu’elle voulait plus de moi et vis versa. C’est avec délicatesse et amour que je lui ai déshabillais, elle admirait mon corps, elle attrapait ma bite avec envie, elle me désirait tellement…Nous avons commencé à faire l’amour avec sensualité sur le sofa, je pensais a tout ces soirs ou je me couchais bredouille, a tout ces soirs ou j’avais du plaisir à donner mais ou on ne voulait pas de moi. Envahi par cette frustration, par ce besoin d’être aimé, d’être désiré j’ai fait l’amour a cette femme comme je n’ai jamais fait a ma femme. Mes mains en appuis sur le rebord du sofa, je me concentrais sur mes allers et retour, sa chatte me dévorait le sexe, son regard m’envoutait. La sensation qu’elle me procurer été du jamais ressenti avant. On se parlait pendant l’action, je lui demandais pourquoi elle n’était pas ma femme, je dévorais son corps avec ma langue, mes caresses et mon toucher…. J’avais jamais rien ressenti d’aussi intense, d’aussi fort de toute ma vie…
Nous avons plusieurs fois essayés de ne plus se voir, ne plus s’appeler, ne plus faire l’amour. De peur que ma femme découvre un jour notre liaison, toutefois a chaque adieu la relation s’intensifie davantage et cela devient encore plus profond entre nous. Nous vivons une belle histoire ensemble et a chaque rencontre c’est magique, pleins de folies et d’aventures. Je ne veux pas faire souffrir ma femme ni elle…mais dois-je un jour divorcer pour vivre a la lumière du jour cette histoire. Cette question m’intrigue encore…

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