Coucou a tous,
Vos confessions me plaisent beaucoup et je me suis dit pourquoi ne pas partager avec vous une de mes belles expériences. Je ne sais pas par ou commencé, certaines d’entres vous pourront me prendre pour un coureur de jupon ou un homme sans scrupule. Mais certaines choses arrivent dans nos vies comme ça, on se réveille un matin et quelque chose d’étrange nous arrive. Nous n’arrêtons pas de nous demander pourquoi, toutefois la vie nous réserve parfois des surprises, des imprévues…qui fait le malheur de celui ou celle a nos cotés mais qui nous rend heureux ou vis versa. Bref cette imprévues qui est venue un jour s’installer dans ma vie, a un point de me rendre fou m’envoute encore aujourd’hui ! Je dirai que j’ai beaucoup appris, beaucoup vécus. Cela m’a aussi apporté de la joie et des fantaisies dans ma vie.
Ceux qui me connaissent me disent que j’ai tous qu’il me faut pour vivre heureux, cependant l’être humain est toujours aussi gourmand et ne trouve jamais suffisant ce qu’il possède déjà. Je suis un homme marié, j’ai même des enfants, une belle maison et une vie sociale très équilibrée. Ma femme est une très belle femme que j’aime beaucoup et qui a beaucoup changé après l’accouchement de mon premier fils malheureusement. Notre vie n’a jamais été monotone, toujours un brin d’humour, de fantaisies…Nous fessons tout pour vivre une vie excitante ensemble et pour toujours nous comprendre. Nous avons certes des divergences d’idées par moment comme tous ceux qui sont en couple, mais nous essayons tant bien que mal de briser le tabou.
Je suis un homme qui est souvent absent à défaut de ma vie professionnelle. J’avoue que ma présence est très importante pour ma femme et cela lui a toujours perturbé dans notre relation. Quoi que, je dois quand même bosser dur pour lui offrir certains privilèges que je n’arrête pas d’ailleurs. Par exemple j’adore voyager, j’adore aller a l’aventure avec elle et pour le faire assez souvent il me faut bosser très dur. Moi ce que je l’ai toujours reproché, c’est de ne pas comprendre ma vie professionnelle. Malgré tout les plaisirs que je me tue à l’offrir. Bref, comme je vous le disais tout a commencé 2ans après le premier accouchement. Elle ne voulait pratiquement plus de moi…
Il y avait des soirs ou je rentrais a la maison et ou elle ne voulait absolument pas que je l’a touche ou que je l’a regarde. Je lui proposé toujours de parler si quelque chose la fatigue, la rend mal ou la dérange. Je voulais comprendre son attitude, comprendre pourquoi elle me repoussait tant et pourquoi elle ne voulait plus de sexe entre nous. Alors que le sexe a toujours été un acte important, primordiale même entre nous. Je n’ai jamais vue ma femme comme un moyen pour moi d’avoir du plaisir. Bien au contraire l’amour été sacré entre nous et je l’avais jamais encore trompé. J’ai été patient pendant très longtemps même je dirai 4ans. Tous les jours je me disais qu’elle finirait par changer et me voir autrement.
Mais ces 4ans, ont été les pires années de ma vie, ou je devais supplier ma femme de faire l’amour avec moi et lorsqu’elle se décidait enfin de vivre des moments de folies avec moi, elle n’arrêtait pas de râler, de dire des coquineries. Elle le fessait juste pour que j’arrête de lui demander certaines choses. Elle ne mettait plus de cœur dans ce qu’elle faisait. Un jour, ma patience m’a fait comprendre qu’elle avait ces limites et j’ai craqué. Je me suis réveillé un matin en me disant c’est bon tu es beau gosse, tu ne vas pas t’embêter avec une femme qui ne veut plus de toi et qui t’a connu que pour lui foutre des gosses. Lance toi a l’aventure ainsi tu pourras oublier tes problèmes de couple. Voila c’est avec ces pensées, que j’ai décidé de briser le chagrin en moi et de vivre un peu ma jeunesse parce-que j’ai quand même 37ans actuellement et je ne suis pas aussi vieux !(Rire)
J’étais dans ma voiture ce matin là, j’étais même un peu en retard pour le boulot et l’embouteillage était terrible. Je ne sais pas pourquoi…l’envie d’être écouté, d’être comprise peut être, mais j’ai composé le numéro de ma meilleure amie histoire de prendre de ses nouvelles. Nous avons papoté pendant 15mins a peu près ce matin là et avant de raccrocher elle m’a dit si tu te sens aussi mal que cela et que tu veux en parlant longuement passe à la maison ce soir pour diner. Bref, j’ai beaucoup pensé à elle pendant la journée et j’arrivais difficilement à me concentrer au travail. Le soir est arrivé, j’ai téléphonais a ma femme pour lui dire que je ne comptais pas rentrer pour diner. Elle ne m’a même pas demandé ou j’étais, pourquoi je ne rentre pas…J’ai toujours détesté son insouciance !
Ce soir j’ai diné chez ma meilleure amie, nous avons effectivement longuement discuté de mes problèmes. Elle n’a pas hésité à déballer son sac aussi et nous essayions jusqu’au petit matin de nous entre aider, de trouver la solution a nos problèmes. Elle été toujours a l’écoute, attentive, elle avait les réponses que je devais entendre, elle me voyait autrement. Elle me comparait à un homme dévoué, qui se tue au travail, qui se tue à plaire à sa femme mais qui n’est jamais en faite soutenue pour sa moitié. Je me disais dans mon cœur pourquoi ma femme elle me voyait autrement, pourquoi elle ne pouvait pas m’apprécier comme les autres femmes. Sans doute avait-elle trop de privilège, trop d’amour et d’affection de ma part. Alors que pas mal d’autres femmes rêvent de la vie qu’elle mène. Je ne l’ai jamais rien reproché mais je voulais juste comprendre quel mal que je lui fessais…
Fin de la première partie.
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