Je me suis réveillée, encore une fois dans le froid de décembre, j’ai regardé autour de moi et j’ai vu la même chose que tous les jours. Les boites en carton faisant office de maison, des tonneaux brulants pour réchauffer certains, des chiens qui étaient couchés juste à cotés de mes « voisins ». Les jours passés et se ressemblaient, je ne savais même plus quel jour nous étions. Je voulais tant changer d’atmosphère, pour ne plus avoir à faire la manche tous les jours afin de manger quelque chose. Je regardais les gens avec envie, ils ne réalisaient pas leur chance, ils ne voyaient pas que les choses qu’ils avaient acquis étaient une véritable aubaine.
Je sortie de sous une couverture sale, mes longs cheveux blonds me collaient un peu plus sur le crane tous les jours. J’ai regardé mon visage dans un bout de verre brisé qui était sur le trottoir, et j’ai remarqué que mes yeux bleus se perdaient un peu plus tous les jours sous une monstrueuse couche de crasse. Je tournai le regard en sentant mon cœur se serrer un peu plus quand je pensais à ce que j’avais laissé derrière moi.
Je n’ai pas commencé comme ca. Vous seriez surpris de savoir comment j’ai atterri dans la rue. J’ai perdu mon père à 13 ans, et ma mère c’est remariée quand j’avais 17 ans avec un beauf de Paris qui avait quand même suffisamment de fric pour nous entretenir. Tout le monde me disait toujours que j’étais la réplique de ma mère ; les mêmes yeux bleus, de longs cheveux blonds jusqu’aux reins, mais surtout la même poitrine, ronde, du 90C. On flattait ma mère très souvent en lui demandant si elle était ma sœur. Nous avons déménagé à Paris et mon beau-père X s’est tout de suite montré très affectueux envers moi. Je recevais toujours ce que je voulais, peu importe l’événement. La première fois que j’ai emmené mon petit ami Greg à la maison, il l’a instantanément détesté, trouvant toujours des excuses les unes plus farfelus que les autres pour prouver qu’il n’était qu’un bon a rien. Je pensais qu’il réagissait un peu comme tous les pères, d’une façon protectrice.
Un jour où personne n’était à la maison, j’ai invité Greg à venir passer un moment à la maison. Tout était parfait, nous avons fumé une petite cigarette qui fait rire, Greg a glissé sa main dans mon haut et je me suis laissé faire. Comme nous étions dans ma chambre, nous n’entendions aucuns bruits. Greg glissa tout doucement sous les draps, me tira les jambes pendant que je me perdais dans un fou rire interminable, il fit glisser ma culotte a mes chevilles et enfonça sa tête un peu plus a mn entre-jambes. A ce moment la j’avais le souffle coupé quand il commença à faire jouer de sa langue délicatement d’abord sur mon clito, ensuite un peu plus dans ma fente jusqu’à ce que mon corps commence à se courber de plaisir. Je lui serrais la tête entre mes jambes tant le plaisir commençait à pénétrer mon corps, et me chatouillait un peu plus les reins. Je tirais les draps un peu plus fort a chaque fois qu’il s’aventurer à me sucer les lèvres de ma chatte, déjà enflées et rosées de désir, et je gémissais tellement fort que Greg a dut prendre un oreiller et me le mettre sur le visage.
Au moment où il s’apprêtait à enlever son pantalon, en faisant malaxer mes seins pour faire monter la sauce, X est entré dans la pièce. En voulant faire obstruction de ce souvenir, je me souviens seulement que Greg s’est levé, a reçu un coup de poing en plein visage, que ca criait dans tous les sens pendant que je me suis cachée le visage sous les draps en me bouchant les oreilles. Je ne sais pas combien de temps se sont écoulés, si je me suis endormie, ou si je suis restée sous les draps pendant tout le temps que X et Greg se sont bagarrés, mais j’ai senti le drap me découvrir, X était devant moi, il avait le visage plus dur que d’habitude mais je voyais bien qu’il se contenait. Je ne pouvais rien faire d’autre que pleurer, j’essayais de lui expliquer les choses, mais rien à faire, j’avais les lèvres qui tremblaient.
« C’est la première fois qu’il te touche ? » il a dit sur un ton qui était un peu trop rassurant pour être ce qu’il ressentait vraiment.
« Ce n’est vraiment pas…c’est pas ce que tu crois … je ne savais pas », c’est tout ce que j’ai réussi a bafouiller.
« Réponds moi Charlotte, c’est tout ce que je te demande ! » il a dit en serrant les dents. Je pouvais a ce moment la entendre mon cœur battre, chaque artères ou traversait mon sang, chaque veines dans lesquelles il passait, chaque pulsions qui le propulsait un peu plus vers mon cerveau, mais je n’arrivais pas à mettre mes idées au clair.
» Oui c’est la première fois que- »
« NE ME MENTS PAS SALOPE!! » j’ai sursauté au son de sa voix, je ne savais plus comment réagir j’ai juste commencé à pleurer et je me suis enroulée le drap autour de la taille pour sortir de la chambre mais il m’a retenu.
« Attends, Charlotte attends, excuse moi, écoute ma chérie c’est très important que tu ne me mentes pas. Dis-moi seulement si c’est la première fois que vous le faites tous les deux. Mais …si jamais tu décides de me mentir…je le saurais. », son ton devenait de plus en plus menaçant, je voulais seulement sortir de la mais sa poigne était ferme et me faisais mal.
« Arrête… lâche moi s’il te plait laisse moi partir… je veux juste partir… arrête s’il te plait… »
Il s’est rapprochait de moi en me suppliant, lui aussi a commencé à pleurer en me suppliant de lui dire la vérité. Je ne sais pas à quel moment ses lèvres ont sellés mes cris, et que ses bras enchainèrent mes mouvements.
A suivre…
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